10 Things You Should Never Say to a Bride-to-be

If you’ve been a bride before, chances are you know exactly what we’re talking about.

For many brides and couples, planning a wedding is the stuff of dreams. A momentous task that countless engaged people will have looked forward to for most of their lives. However, it can also be a very stressful and emotional process. As a bride, you'll turn to your close friends and family throughout the planning process, seeking help and encouragement to make the journey extra special. Unfortunately, sometimes, those same loved ones can start to feel a little too comfortable, and say the one wrong thing that, at the drop of a hat, changes everything…

What Not to Say to a Bride-to-be

We explore the 10 Things You Should Never Say to a Bride-to-Be if you want to remain friends and not ruin her day!

“So-and-so did the same thing on her wedding day!”

Even though you may have seen something similar take place during another wedding, you should never mention it to the bride, or the bridal party. Every bride should feel like all the love and attention put into their wedding day has created something special, and unique. Not simply another wedding that looks the same as the last. Some things are just better left unsaid!

“I heard that it's supposed to be so hot/cold/rainy/snowy on your wedding day.”

The bride has probably checked the weather multiple times a day leading up to her nuptials. There’s only so much she can do, and she’s accepted that she can’t control the forecast. Don't make her any more concerned than she already is by mentioning it. Besides, Mum is most likely letting her know the weather forecast daily, or hourly anyway…

“It was so expensive getting/staying here!”

Don’t make your problems the bride’s on her big day. Brides already know how expensive travel costs and accommodation can be, they don’t need reminding. Couples usually try to reserve a block of hotel rooms for travelling guests in order to reduce costs, but that isn’t always an option. Whatever the case, the bride doesn’t need a guilt trip on her wedding day.

“Good thing you lost weight for today!”

Never, ever talk about a bride’s weight, it's not a subject that needs to be commented on. She has probably already put tons of pressure on herself to look perfect, and she doesn’t need you offering any kind of awkward, back-handed compliment on her appearance. Instead, say something more like ‘You look wonderful! I have never seen you look more beautiful!’

“Can I see your wedding dress?”

Of course, everyone wants to see you in your wedding dress. But there are some guests who think they are so special, they can have a glimpse of it before the big day. Just so they can smugly tell everyone else they've seen it. If you're the bride, and someone asks you this, just say, “While I would love to show you my dress, I would rather keep it a surprise until the big day.”. Polite, but firm, and less sweary than the first few words that entered your head!

“Why isn’t ___________ a bridesmaid??”

Every bride takes very careful consideration when it comes to selecting bridesmaids, and it is a very personal choice. If she hasn't selected your friend/niece/fiancé/auntie/local barmaid/love interest, that is not a slight on them. She has just chosen the people she wants by her side. If you do question her decision, it will more than likely sound insulting, so keep it to yourself.

“I know I promised that I would make a toast, but I didn’t have time to write anything…”

If the bride has asked you to be a part of her wedding day, in any way, it is because you are special to her. For you to simply ‘not have time’ to do something for the day is hurtful. Step up, find the time, find the words, and make your loved one feel special.

“Are you sure about that colour/theme/flower choice?”⁣

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Planning a wedding involves making endless decisions, and the bride has likely spent hours agonizing over every little detail. Questioning her choices, even if you think you have a better idea, can come across as judgmental. If you want to give advice, wait until she asks, or offer it gently and positively, but only when its still possible to make changes. Nobody wants your suggestions in the hours leading up to the nuptials.⁣

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“You must be so stressed!”⁣

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While it’s true that wedding planning can be stressful, pointing it out on the big day won’t help. The bride is already juggling a million thoughts and emotions. Instead, focus on being calming and supportive. Remind the bride to breathe, smile, and genuinely enjoy the moment.⁣

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“Are you going to cry?”⁣

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Weddings are emotional, yes, but commenting on what someone might do can make a bride self-conscious or anxious. Let her emotions happen naturally and respond with warmth and encouragement, not predictions. A simple, ‘You’re going to be wonderful today,’ goes a lot further.